Story Time is where the names of the innocent are changed for their safety lol.
I love to tell stories. It makes me smile to make others smile & laugh. I hope the stories I tell will live on thru someone else tellin' them. Hey, guess what?? Several people have told me how much they enjoy it soooo here I am w/ a blog that has a Story Time page lmao. Oh! I don't tell short stories! They WILL be long winded w/ tons of useless info rofl.
Also, if you have a fave & think i should share it w/ the rest of the kiddies......give me a shout!
I love to tell stories. It makes me smile to make others smile & laugh. I hope the stories I tell will live on thru someone else tellin' them. Hey, guess what?? Several people have told me how much they enjoy it soooo here I am w/ a blog that has a Story Time page lmao. Oh! I don't tell short stories! They WILL be long winded w/ tons of useless info rofl.
Also, if you have a fave & think i should share it w/ the rest of the kiddies......give me a shout!
a good friend loves this 1 sooo..........the story of the Sheriff & my almost 10 yr song & dance. Backstory.........the 2nd ex & i had been married just a few months when it came time for the county fair. we go to see the tractor pull & the 2nd knew everyone which included the Sheriff. He stops to talk to Sheriff. the ex is 6' 3" & around 300, not small by any means & Sheriff is just as tall & built........like a brick shit house, i don't think i'd take him on j/s........sassing, of course is a whole 'nother story..........
Sheriff looks @ me & says, "you done anything wrong that i can arrest you for?"
i laugh, "Nothing i'll admit to in a court of law."
he laughs, "i'm sure he *nods towards the ex* could use a vacation & you talk a lot."
i say, "i'm sure he could & you have no idea."
this goes on for yrs!!! the back & forth of tit for tat. 1 day i go to the DMV to renew my license & who's leaning there holding up the counter? yes, my fave nemesis, Sheriff! i stop dead in my tracks, laugh & ask, "they know you're goofing off again? Do we pay you to hold up counters & talk to pretty ladies?"
he gets out his cuffs & says, "now i know you aren't sassing me & i know HE'S in dire need of a vacation so assume the position, troublemaker."
i laugh, "i ain't going down without a fight, Copper."
this is where i need to tell you that all 4 DMV employees were wide-eyed & mouths dropped to the floor just waiting to see who won the battle.
Sheriff let out a big ole belly laugh & ask, "how you been, Crazy Chick? life doing you right?"
my reply, "oh, you know how it goes, Sheriff! how's the wife? heard she was a bit under the weather."
we small talk for a bit like people in smaller towns do & he leaves. i look @ the 4 ladies & they're still standing there wide-eyed & mouths dropped!!! i just laugh, "it's a song & dance we've been doing for a little over 8 yrs now. you get used to it after the 1st few threats." they all laughed
Sheriff looks @ me & says, "you done anything wrong that i can arrest you for?"
i laugh, "Nothing i'll admit to in a court of law."
he laughs, "i'm sure he *nods towards the ex* could use a vacation & you talk a lot."
i say, "i'm sure he could & you have no idea."
this goes on for yrs!!! the back & forth of tit for tat. 1 day i go to the DMV to renew my license & who's leaning there holding up the counter? yes, my fave nemesis, Sheriff! i stop dead in my tracks, laugh & ask, "they know you're goofing off again? Do we pay you to hold up counters & talk to pretty ladies?"
he gets out his cuffs & says, "now i know you aren't sassing me & i know HE'S in dire need of a vacation so assume the position, troublemaker."
i laugh, "i ain't going down without a fight, Copper."
this is where i need to tell you that all 4 DMV employees were wide-eyed & mouths dropped to the floor just waiting to see who won the battle.
Sheriff let out a big ole belly laugh & ask, "how you been, Crazy Chick? life doing you right?"
my reply, "oh, you know how it goes, Sheriff! how's the wife? heard she was a bit under the weather."
we small talk for a bit like people in smaller towns do & he leaves. i look @ the 4 ladies & they're still standing there wide-eyed & mouths dropped!!! i just laugh, "it's a song & dance we've been doing for a little over 8 yrs now. you get used to it after the 1st few threats." they all laughed
it's that time, kiddies!! the day i thought that 1 of my loves was gonna kill his son with no regrets!!
back story is......i'm seeing a man who was not only big in size but heart too. but when he did get mad, run.....run fast. his youngest is barely a teen. they're getting ready to move for the dad's job & trying to make it easier for the divorced parents to co-parent. this lil man is in 8th grade, smart as a whip buttttt some times, too smart.....
love calls me late morning, "i'm gonna kill him today, girl!" me, "uhhh what's going on? who's him?"
love, "the youngest! he tried to blow his school up!!" me, "HE DID WHAT????"
love, "yep, that kid is going to die.......by my hand!" me, "now relax. what are the details?"
love, "showing off for his friends in Chem & said, watch this guys. those are the damn details!"
me, *choking back laughter* "hmmm, sounds familiar......like his old man. wanna look @ it that way for me?"
love, "nope, going to kill him" me, "DON'T do anything til you call me after you get home, tell me your plan & i'll let ya know if i can get you off on parental insanity." love, "i hate you sometimes"
me, "yea, my logic is getting in the way of your stupidity"
the day goes on like every other day until.......................love's ringtone late afternoon...........this ain't good rofl
me, "yea, what up?" love, "NOW, i AM killing him!" me, "ok, details for this infraction please"
love, "he tried to burn the house DOWN!!" me, "HE DID WHAT?? HOW?? WTH??"
love, "making a grilled cheese & set the pan on fire somehow. in that effort, he started a fire on 1/2 the stove top THEN it went up the wall. HE'S dead, girl" me, "fire with a grilled cheese??? wth was he using?? gas??"
love, "no clue cause it's all up in smoke & burnt to a crisp now"
me, "ok, kill him but make it quick & as painless as possible" love, "aren't you supposed to be talking me out of this?"
me, "not no more! he bout burned your house down! i DO have limits."
oh, it doesn't end there..............................the son calls about an hr later.................
lil man, "you're supposed to love & protect me" me, "i will when you're not blowing/burning shit up!"
--lil man, "both were accidents" me, "ok but that's not what i heard on the 1st "accident" from today"
lil man, "Chick, i didn't think it'd smoke like THAT!" me, "dude! you were in CHEM!! what did you think?"
--lil man, "i was hungry with the grilled cheese" me, "that's good too but how the hell did you start a fire w/ it?"
lil man, "i used too much oil" me, "uhhh, lil man, you don't use oil w/ grilled cheese. that's what the butter is for"
--lil man, "so i heard" me, "omg! you ARE your father's son!" lil man, "so i hear"
me, "hanging up now. tell me you love me cause i love you even if you don't think i do"
lil man, "i love you, Chick" me, "love you too, lil man.........& lil man? no more today, ok?" lil man, "yes, ma'am"
that was THE day i thought i would loose 1 of my fave loves by the hand of someone who helped bring him into this world!!
back story is......i'm seeing a man who was not only big in size but heart too. but when he did get mad, run.....run fast. his youngest is barely a teen. they're getting ready to move for the dad's job & trying to make it easier for the divorced parents to co-parent. this lil man is in 8th grade, smart as a whip buttttt some times, too smart.....
love calls me late morning, "i'm gonna kill him today, girl!" me, "uhhh what's going on? who's him?"
love, "the youngest! he tried to blow his school up!!" me, "HE DID WHAT????"
love, "yep, that kid is going to die.......by my hand!" me, "now relax. what are the details?"
love, "showing off for his friends in Chem & said, watch this guys. those are the damn details!"
me, *choking back laughter* "hmmm, sounds familiar......like his old man. wanna look @ it that way for me?"
love, "nope, going to kill him" me, "DON'T do anything til you call me after you get home, tell me your plan & i'll let ya know if i can get you off on parental insanity." love, "i hate you sometimes"
me, "yea, my logic is getting in the way of your stupidity"
the day goes on like every other day until.......................love's ringtone late afternoon...........this ain't good rofl
me, "yea, what up?" love, "NOW, i AM killing him!" me, "ok, details for this infraction please"
love, "he tried to burn the house DOWN!!" me, "HE DID WHAT?? HOW?? WTH??"
love, "making a grilled cheese & set the pan on fire somehow. in that effort, he started a fire on 1/2 the stove top THEN it went up the wall. HE'S dead, girl" me, "fire with a grilled cheese??? wth was he using?? gas??"
love, "no clue cause it's all up in smoke & burnt to a crisp now"
me, "ok, kill him but make it quick & as painless as possible" love, "aren't you supposed to be talking me out of this?"
me, "not no more! he bout burned your house down! i DO have limits."
oh, it doesn't end there..............................the son calls about an hr later.................
lil man, "you're supposed to love & protect me" me, "i will when you're not blowing/burning shit up!"
--lil man, "both were accidents" me, "ok but that's not what i heard on the 1st "accident" from today"
lil man, "Chick, i didn't think it'd smoke like THAT!" me, "dude! you were in CHEM!! what did you think?"
--lil man, "i was hungry with the grilled cheese" me, "that's good too but how the hell did you start a fire w/ it?"
lil man, "i used too much oil" me, "uhhh, lil man, you don't use oil w/ grilled cheese. that's what the butter is for"
--lil man, "so i heard" me, "omg! you ARE your father's son!" lil man, "so i hear"
me, "hanging up now. tell me you love me cause i love you even if you don't think i do"
lil man, "i love you, Chick" me, "love you too, lil man.........& lil man? no more today, ok?" lil man, "yes, ma'am"
that was THE day i thought i would loose 1 of my fave loves by the hand of someone who helped bring him into this world!!
Today's story is kinda short but in reality spanned almost 3 yrs. yrs ago, i worked as a mid-lvl employee in a specialty store. my immediate supervisor was always laughing @ the way i said things. She was always telling me that i had a quip, quote or song lyric for everything.
After working there about 6 months or so, she says, "You use a lot of $5 words for someone who says she isn't smart." i chuckled & laughed for a few months until i used the word, obtuse. i simply said, "she's being so obtuse about this whole situation." she giggles & says, "you obviously don't mean the math term so tell me what you do mean cause i think i might have to write you up for this 1." i busted out laughing & said, "no, i don't do math! maybe you should cause what i mean is, she's being extremely insensitive about all this." she nods & walks off.
a few wks later, i used the word, catty. again, we had the, "what does that mean & am i going to have to write you up for it" conversation. only this time she ended it w/, "if you keep using $5 words, i'm going to start collecting for each 1 on payday."
i laughed for days, until she started holding out her hand every time a "$5 word" would fly out of my mouth. every once in a blue moon, we chat thanks to social media. she still ask if i use $5 words & i laugh & say, Oh but of course. sometimes, she'll get a hold of me to ask "the real definition" of some huge word. my reply is usually, "you do know we have google, bing & dictionary.com these days, right?" she laughs & tells me to quit being obtuse & catty lmdao
when i use obtuse to describe a person, they've really have to had to piss me off & what i mean by that word is simply.....annoyingly insensitive or slow to understand. Catty? I reserve that for women who are......slyly malicious &/or spiteful.
My English teachers thru the yrs would be SO proud & elated! <--$5 word lmdao
After working there about 6 months or so, she says, "You use a lot of $5 words for someone who says she isn't smart." i chuckled & laughed for a few months until i used the word, obtuse. i simply said, "she's being so obtuse about this whole situation." she giggles & says, "you obviously don't mean the math term so tell me what you do mean cause i think i might have to write you up for this 1." i busted out laughing & said, "no, i don't do math! maybe you should cause what i mean is, she's being extremely insensitive about all this." she nods & walks off.
a few wks later, i used the word, catty. again, we had the, "what does that mean & am i going to have to write you up for it" conversation. only this time she ended it w/, "if you keep using $5 words, i'm going to start collecting for each 1 on payday."
i laughed for days, until she started holding out her hand every time a "$5 word" would fly out of my mouth. every once in a blue moon, we chat thanks to social media. she still ask if i use $5 words & i laugh & say, Oh but of course. sometimes, she'll get a hold of me to ask "the real definition" of some huge word. my reply is usually, "you do know we have google, bing & dictionary.com these days, right?" she laughs & tells me to quit being obtuse & catty lmdao
when i use obtuse to describe a person, they've really have to had to piss me off & what i mean by that word is simply.....annoyingly insensitive or slow to understand. Catty? I reserve that for women who are......slyly malicious &/or spiteful.
My English teachers thru the yrs would be SO proud & elated! <--$5 word lmdao
While Chad Sullins & the Last Call Coalition sings to me about how life is.....i will tell a story. For the motorheads out there.
Once there was a young girl who loved cars but she didn't say much cause girls didn't get into cars. An "old friend" comes home for a couple day vacation, he goes over & they talk about the car.
This girl does not like Fords but give her a '64 1/2 cherry red mustang with 4 on the floor & you'll have her where it counts. They go for a ride in his royal blue mustang, boy could that car get it!!
She wanted to drive.......he lol'ed & said, I don't think so, girl. She just looked @ him & wanted to smack that smirk right off his face. Then to make things worse, he showed what was under the hood! OMG!! She had died & gone to Heaven!! Chrome!! Lots & lots of chrome!!! Like Trace says, her favorite color is chrome..........let the negotiations begin cause most everything in life is a negotiation of some kind. Well, she must've said the wrong thing cause he laughed, slammed the hood down & walked off, leaving her quite pissed off.
Moral of this story? When you got a girl 1 step from Heaven don't slam the hood shut!!!
Once there was a young girl who loved cars but she didn't say much cause girls didn't get into cars. An "old friend" comes home for a couple day vacation, he goes over & they talk about the car.
This girl does not like Fords but give her a '64 1/2 cherry red mustang with 4 on the floor & you'll have her where it counts. They go for a ride in his royal blue mustang, boy could that car get it!!
She wanted to drive.......he lol'ed & said, I don't think so, girl. She just looked @ him & wanted to smack that smirk right off his face. Then to make things worse, he showed what was under the hood! OMG!! She had died & gone to Heaven!! Chrome!! Lots & lots of chrome!!! Like Trace says, her favorite color is chrome..........let the negotiations begin cause most everything in life is a negotiation of some kind. Well, she must've said the wrong thing cause he laughed, slammed the hood down & walked off, leaving her quite pissed off.
Moral of this story? When you got a girl 1 step from Heaven don't slam the hood shut!!!
It's story time!!! My 1st on here!! I feel the need to share a silly lil story bout a silly lil girl while I drink my morning coffee & think bout what I should do today.........
Backstory: A no horse town in the middle of nowhere farm country....they didn't even have a 4 way stop!! Just a few houses scattered on a few blocks. I really do believe there were more animals than people in this town *giggle*. Circa.....a young girl's lifetime. Her fam & friends lived here or close by. Sometimes a good thing, sometimes a bad 1 *eye roll*.
This lil girl knew "a lot" of people in a small town way. Cause everyone knows that in small towns, the others know more bout you than you do. Honest! Proven fact! Just ask the local gossips!
Well, anywho & how.....in her pre-teen yrs, she always noticed a group of high school guys. Imagine that!! They laughed a lot. They were ALWAYS up to mischief of some sort. They had a blast & didn't care who knew or saw. They did really stupid shit, they laughed. They always seemed to be so carefree.
The lil girl would look @ them & think, I wanna laugh like that. I wanna be that way. Cause see this lil girl was alllll serious, all fighter, a bundle of nerves from the word go. She just wanted to laugh. Have a good time. Not think of the million things in her twisted mind.
These guys were long gone before she had the chance to "hang round" w/ them. But she remembers them every once in a while, wonders where they are, what they're doing & how they made out in life. Oh, she talks to a few of them but she doesn't pry. She just waits for tidbits to fall from their mouths & she goes, "Ahhhh so THAT'S what happened!" .
1 in particular puts her in fits of laughter every time they talk. I don't think he's ever serious. Seriously! There's always a joke, a song lyric to make her think, "Who the hell is he singin' now?", a smartass comment to make. He keeps her filled w/ music, life thoughts in a hilarious way & the knowledge that there's @ least 1 other person out there that isn't so stuffy, prim & proper!
& on long nights when sleep doesn't come to her, sometimes she wonders.....Does he remember all those yrs ago, when she was way to young & he was way to dumb, why he caught her attention? Hmmmm, maybe some day when the moon is blue & the stars align, she'll let him in on the secret *raises eyebrow*.
Moral of this story??? Well, kiddies, ya never know who's watchin' so make it good!
Backstory: A no horse town in the middle of nowhere farm country....they didn't even have a 4 way stop!! Just a few houses scattered on a few blocks. I really do believe there were more animals than people in this town *giggle*. Circa.....a young girl's lifetime. Her fam & friends lived here or close by. Sometimes a good thing, sometimes a bad 1 *eye roll*.
This lil girl knew "a lot" of people in a small town way. Cause everyone knows that in small towns, the others know more bout you than you do. Honest! Proven fact! Just ask the local gossips!
Well, anywho & how.....in her pre-teen yrs, she always noticed a group of high school guys. Imagine that!! They laughed a lot. They were ALWAYS up to mischief of some sort. They had a blast & didn't care who knew or saw. They did really stupid shit, they laughed. They always seemed to be so carefree.
The lil girl would look @ them & think, I wanna laugh like that. I wanna be that way. Cause see this lil girl was alllll serious, all fighter, a bundle of nerves from the word go. She just wanted to laugh. Have a good time. Not think of the million things in her twisted mind.
These guys were long gone before she had the chance to "hang round" w/ them. But she remembers them every once in a while, wonders where they are, what they're doing & how they made out in life. Oh, she talks to a few of them but she doesn't pry. She just waits for tidbits to fall from their mouths & she goes, "Ahhhh so THAT'S what happened!" .
1 in particular puts her in fits of laughter every time they talk. I don't think he's ever serious. Seriously! There's always a joke, a song lyric to make her think, "Who the hell is he singin' now?", a smartass comment to make. He keeps her filled w/ music, life thoughts in a hilarious way & the knowledge that there's @ least 1 other person out there that isn't so stuffy, prim & proper!
& on long nights when sleep doesn't come to her, sometimes she wonders.....Does he remember all those yrs ago, when she was way to young & he was way to dumb, why he caught her attention? Hmmmm, maybe some day when the moon is blue & the stars align, she'll let him in on the secret *raises eyebrow*.
Moral of this story??? Well, kiddies, ya never know who's watchin' so make it good!