You won’t find anything more poisonous than a harmonious and friendly group of females.
A wife hangs up after about a half-hour on the phone. The husband is surprised, "Wow, that was quick - usually you women are at it for two hours at least!" "Yeah, well, it was a wrong number."
Why is women’s soccer so rare? It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
What do you call a redhead with an attitude? Normal
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every day. One day he told her, "You have been with me through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were there. When we lost the house, you were there. When my health started failing, you were there. You know what?""What is it, dear?" she asked. He responded, "I think you bring me bad luck."
Why do women live longer than men? Shopping never causes heart attacks but paying the bills does
Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card? The thief was spending less then his wife
Is Google male or female? Female, cause it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion
Why do women like to have sex w/ the lights off? They hate to see a man have a good time
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?You can negotiate with a terrorist.
How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty
Know what a 6.9 is?Another good thing screwed up by a period
Why do women have orgasms?Just another reason for them to moan
How is life like a penis? Your girlfriend makes it hard
What’s the difference between your wife and your job?After five years, your job will still suck
How is a girlfriend like a laxative?They both irritate the shit out of you
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts
A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
What’s the difference between a paycheck & a penis? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.
Why is 68 the maximum speed for blondes? Because at 69 they blow a rod