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Men jokes

Two Elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”
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if a man opens the car door for his wife, you can bet 1 thing for sure:
​either the car or wife is new
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Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship
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What is the lightest thing in the world? 
A penis because just a thought can lift it
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A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
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What do boobs and toys have in common?They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them
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What do you call a guy with a small dick? Just-in!
What do you call a guy with a giant dick? Phil!

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What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore
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What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cubes have in common?The more you play with it, the harder it gets
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Whst is yhe diff between a golf ball & a g-spot?
​A man will look for a golf ball
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What does a clitoris, an anniversary & a toilet have in common? 
Men usually miss all 3
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What do you call a man that lost all of his intelligence?
A widow.
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Why did God create man first?
Because he needed a rough working model before creating the perfect specimen of the species.
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Men are like…..Cement. After getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.
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What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.
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Why are men are like snowstorms?
You never know when he’s coming, how many inches you’ll get or how long he will last.
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Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.
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What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
​After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
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A guide, showing an old lady through the Zoo, took her to a cage occupied by a kangaroo.
“Here, madam,” he said, “we have a native of Australia.”
“Good gracious,” she replied, “and to think my sister married one of them.”
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  • Home
  • Story Time
  • Crochet Stuff
    • Baby Afghans >
      • Circles of Hearts Checkerboard Baby Afghan
    • Baby Booties >
      • Cats 10 minute booties
    • Afghans, Throws & Lapgagns >
      • Soft Catherine Wheel Throw
    • Hats & Beanies
    • Scarves
    • Dolies
    • Stuffed Animals & Charaters >
      • Jack Skellington Puppets
    • Dishrags & Washcloths
    • Miscellaneous >
      • 1 Bad Apple
      • Maddy's Heart
      • Tina's cozy
    • Afghan Size Chart
  • Things That Caught My Eye
    • Memes I've Made
  • Jokes A Million
  • Recipes i love
  • Mental Health Worksheets
  • Music Sites
  • Free Websites I Use
  • Contact Me......